another strange entry from the little shop of weirdness - jesters are possibly more unsettling than leering clowns.

I returned home early from the pub tonight. I felt much too sick and tired to last until closing. As soon as I walked in the house I scanned for anything strange. As a girl I’m always on guard when I come home alone. This sucks. I started thinking about this after my “prowler” scare the other night and wondered if men feel the same paranoia. When I was a kid I used to be afraid of stupid things like the exorcist and ghosts. Now its real people. Sounds dumb and looks even more stupid reading what I just typed…I wish it was different. But I don’t ever remember feeling completely safe when I was alone. Every girlfriend I’ve spoken to feels the same. I think its a fear we adopt when we’re little and just learn to accept as being a girl.

Today I received my new issue of “Colors” and its topic this month is violence. I adore this magazine but its a bit too graphic sometimes. I think its caused me to tailspin about the fear issue - mainly because it seems that most violent crimes committed in the world are against women and children. This entry is getting too depressing so I’m going to stop now. Besides, Brian just came home and I feel safe now:)

my cat woke me up around 4AM - I assumed he was hungry. I wasn’t sleeping too well anyway because I have a cold. I walked into the dark kitchen and realized I wasn’t totally in the dark. A little light had flashed past my eye and then shut off. I was a bit confused and just stood there. I thought maybe we had installed a little nightlight that turns on with movement…but nope. We don’t own anything like that. I just shrugged and flipped on the light and fed the cat. I was midway to putting the food down when that feeling came over me. You know, the “sixth sense”. I froze and immediately focused all my attention on the open kitchen window. Stupid Stupid STUPID! I smacked the lights off and ran for the window. Adrenaline was pumping now and I shut it so hard I must have woken the neighborhood up. My next move? Why, run outside and catch the prowler. Reaching for the front door knob it dawned on me. I’m that dumb girl in the horror movie who wanders outside in only a nightshirt looking for the monster. Did I already say stupid? I sprung back from the door so fast I tripped over the couch. I proceeded through the entire house to shut every window while turning all the outside lights on. Then came the second revelation…I have a boyfriend! Believe it or not, Brian sleeps like the dead and hadn’t woken up yet. He was really pissed when I shook him awake and stormed down the hall, throwing the door open. Nothing. He patiently waited for me to run around outside and investigate all the dark corners. Nothing. We went back to bed. Around 4:30 Brian’s grumpy growling turned to sleep and I laid awake staring at the ceiling until daybreak. Funny how the sun can put me to sleep. Needless to say, no matter how hot it gets here at the beach, I will NOT be leaving the windows open at night.

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

I just visited jason’s photoblog site and I am really impressed.

No stupid animations or long waits for useless transitions…just photos and small description text. Sometimes I think Flash really sucks. Or maybe its just the general populace that has come to accept no less than flying logos.

I was in the mood yesterday to create some art and I took a ton of experimental photos. Unfortunately those two hours were wasted. Everything was blurry and looked like crap. That’s OK though. It takes me a step closer to what I’m trying to achieve…even if its the slow road. I constantly forget that just owning a kick ass digital camera doesn’t make me a photographer:(

rediscovered my camera after lapsing a week. Maybe after this hellish work week I’ll be able to start playing again. all work and no play makes jill a dull girl.

I make brian walk past my “little shop of weirdness” every time we go out for coffee now. I want to go in and talk to the owners but I’m afraid they won’t be as creepy as I’ve envisioned. This will spoil the whole vibe. I’m torn. The inside looks way cooler than even the window scenes. Maybe I could strike a deal and ask for permission to shoot photos of all their stuff for…um…for? AWWWW! What could I possibly give them in return?!